


The More That You Say, The Less I Know

by Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97



Category: His Dark Materials (TV), His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Extended Scene, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28111266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97/pseuds/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97
Summary: The events of episode 2x06 "Malice" told from Lyra's perspective, with some... changes and adjustments.
Relationships: Lyra Belacqua & Pantalaimon, Lyra Belacqua & Will Parry, Lyra Belacqua/Will Parry
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	The More That You Say, The Less I Know

**Author's Note:**

> Hello darlings! I'm back with another Lyra x Will fic because I can't get enough of them and this one is LONG  
> Just like with my other two fics, I sprinkled canon with an extra dose of fluff and dove deeper into emotions. Lyra's feelings were very complex this episode but one thing broke through everything else - her fear for Will's life. And it was so much fun to capture that.  
> I hope you enjoy!

It started a shortly before dawn, few hours after they managed to escape from Latrom's house.

Lyra was washing two coffee mugs when she heard a loud groan of pain coming from the stairs. Will, bent in half, pressed his wounded hand to his chest, while propping himself against the wall with the other. The bandage was so saturated with blood that red liquid was dripping slowly on the tip of his shoe, and his face, which had lost its warm light brown color, looked sickly gray even in the yellow light of the lamps. Small drops of sweat covered his forehead, crinkled with pain.

Lyra wiped her hands on the towel and hurried over to him.

"Will, what's going on?" she asked, scared to see the condition he was in.

"Dizzy." he gasped between heavy breaths.

"Lyra, he's shivering." Pantalaimon, who sat on the railing of the stairs in the form of a crow, noticed. "We have to get him to bed."

She was so frightened, paralyzed and confused that it took her a moment to understand what her deamon had told her.

"Uh, yeah. Right - bed."

She jumped on the first step and held out her arms to him, but Will waved her off.

"It's alright… I can do it."

Only he couldn't. As soon as he took the first step, his knees gave way and if it weren't for Lyra, he would have fallen down the stairs and right onto his face. She surprised herself by having no problem catching him and balancing them both, though Will was much taller than she was. She thought he was going to fall over, but she pressed her back against the wall and Will was conscious enough to try to regain control of his own body. They ended up leaning against the stone of the stairwell, Will's forehead resting on Lyra's shoulder, who was holding him in a rather awkward grip, making sure he didn't fall.

"Fine." he breathed softly, making Lyra shiver feeling his warm breath on her neck. She hoped he hadn't noticed it. "Maybe I can't do it after all."

She chuckled lightly, trying to add some humor to this hopeless situation.

"You don't say, genius?"

Will replied with the same chuckle and let her lift him to his feet, helping as much as he could. She threw his arm around her shoulders and wrapped hers around his waist, then they slowly walked up the stairs, step by step until they reached Will's bed. He fell heavily on it and rolled onto his back, another hiss of pain escaping his throat. Lyra carefully lifted his hand and placed it on the blanket so his shirt wouldn't be stained with blood. It was a miracle that he had managed to avoid it happening so far.

"He needs to change his bandage." Pan pointed out, who sat next to her on the edge of the bed as a red panda and carefully sniffed the wound.

"Yes I know." she replied, increasingly frustrated. "I'll take care of it soon."

She adjusted the blanket around Will, his body shaking again. She put her hand to his forehead, causing his eyelids to flutter slightly.

"Pan, he has a fever!" she gasped, taking her hand away as quickly as if she had burned herself. "And it's high."

She grabbed the bandage and unwrapped it with a careful but quick movement. The sight she was met with filled her with horror.

The skin of not only the severed fingers, but almost the entire back part of his hand was bloody purple and blistered. Dried blood mixed with pus formed dark scabs. The sight reminded Lyra of the stories told by the Gyptian children when they played together in Jericho, about what happens to a human body after death, how it rots and falls apart. But Will was still alive - did it mean he was dying? The thought made her blood run cold and her eyes burn with tears. This couldn't be happening. Not after everything they've been through.

With full awareness, Lyra then realized she couldn't lose Will. She didn't want to lose him now or ever and just couldn't imagine that they would ever be apart.

"I think I know what it is." Pantalaimon spoke, keeping a close eye on the wound. "Remember last year when Master gave you a month of study about diseases after you caught the flu while playing in the streets?"

Lyra looked at him and frowned, not quite understanding what he meant.

"Yeah… I remember something…"

"And one of the Scholars mentioned something about a certain disease which symptoms looked kind of like this. Something starting with G. Gan… Gan…"

"Gangrene." Will finished for him weakly. He raised his head slightly to look at the red panda, but soon dropped it back onto the pillow, panting heavily and frowning. The fingers of his sick hand curled and stretched spasmodically to the rhythm of the throbbing pain in the wound. Still he tried to speak. "It's a… r-rapidly developing… tissue nec-necrosis that is caused by-"

"Yes, I remember." She cut him off, trying to hide the trembling of her voice and, not really sure what she was doing, ran her fingers through his black, sweat-drenched curls. "Don't talk. You need to save your strength."

Now she remembered what the disease was, and this knowledge filled her with even more fear. Tissue necrosis due to infection of a poorly cleaned wound. Since this morning, Will's wound had been even more irritated, especially during his fight with Latrom. Lyra could still hear his painful screams in her head as the man grabbed his hand and squeezed the wound, increasing the pain. A new wave of fear and nausea flooded her insides as she remembered one more important detail - in the case of gangrene, you have to act quickly, otherwise amputation is often necessary.

Will has already lost two fingers, he can't lose his entire arm - or worse, his life.

She leaned over him, catching his attention, and he turned his head to her, smiling weakly.

"I'll get some water and a new bandage, okay?" she said, to which he just nodded. "I'll be right back."

And she left quickly, jumping down the stairs two steps at a time. She grabbed a large jug from the kitchen and ran outside, Pantalaimon right behind her.

As soon as she was on the street, she stopped holding back. She reached the well blindly, tears blurring her sight. She grabbed the pump and fell to her knees as broken sobs shook her body, tears streaming down her cheeks. She covered her mouth with her hand to not disturb the silence of the night with her crying.

Pan ran up to her and snuggled against her thigh, squealing softly.

"Oh, Pan…" she sobbed and sniffled. "I'm so afraid. What if- what if he…"

"I'm afraid too, Lyra." He admitted. "But we can't allow ourselves to think like that. We must at least try to help him."

Lyra, realizing her deamon was right, swallowed the rest of her tears and wiped her face with her sleeve.

"You're right." she admitted. "And we have to move fast."

She scooped up a full jug of water and returned to their house, where she found a bandage in the kitchen. There was a pharmacy nearby, but neither of them knew enough about medicine to know which ones in this world would be suitable for cleaning a wound. Lyra had to rely only on soap and water, so she took all those things and headed upstairs.

Will managed to fall asleep in the meantime, but the high fever caused him nightmares. His head was turning from side to side, and he was mumbling something indistinct.

"Will?" Lyra put a hand on his shoulder. He didn't even flinch. "I'll clean your wound now."

She set to work carefully. She poured the water into a bowl so that she could soak the cloth in it, but after a while both the cloth and the water turned red. After cleaning the wound, she bandaged Will's hand with a fresh piece of cloth and placed it slowly over his chest. She assessed the effect of her work one last time, then changed the water in the bowl, took a clean towel and started washing Will's face, hoping the cool water would ease his fever.

"His hand is worse." Pan said after a long pause. Lyra noticed the previous optimism vanished from his voice. "I'm not sure we can help him, Lyra."

_ So we have to find someone who can _ , she thought but didn't say it aloud.

The water ran out quickly, so Lyra took the jug and headed for the well again, this time a bit more composed and calmer. Will's fever had dropped, his nightmares seemed to be over too. He was still shivering, but he was sleeping more peacefully now.

As she poured water, she heard echoes of footsteps and soft whispers. She concentrated, alert and careful, and moved to look around. At first the dark streets seemed empty, though she could swear she heard a laugh in the wind. Then she saw silhouettes emerging from the string of moonlight cast over the street.

"Lyra…" came a child's voice.

She dropped the jug, letting the water spill and soak into the ground.

_ Angelica _ , she realized.

_ We will get you. _

Lyra turned and started running quickly.

Then all hell broke loose. 

* * *

Lyra didn't know what made Will manage to get out of bed and act - maybe he felt better, maybe it was the danger that lay ahead, or maybe something else - but she was grateful for that. They managed to escape to the roof of the building through a hatch in the ceiling, but Angelica and her gang continued to tread on their heels.

Lyra jumped onto a bench and looked over the edge of the wall, then turned to Will.

"Can you get us out of here?"

He was already trying. He drew his Knife and turned to face the wall to try to cut the window. But he was still weak, and the hand he raised up was shaking. Lyra was about to approach him when she suddenly felt fingers tighten on her wrist. Someone pulled her hard, almost ripping her arm off the joint, and forced her to jump off the bench.

"Will!" she called out, but paused as soon as she felt a knife blade on her throat. Someone much taller than her immobilized her in a firm grip, while Angelica and Paola appeared in front of her with their backs to her and standing shoulder to shoulder.

"He has the Knife!" the older girl shouted.

Will turned, the Knife held out in front of him, and their eyes met. His hand trembled again as he saw the blade against her skin.

"Lyra!" he took a step towards her, but a group of bloodthirsty children crossed his way. They separated them - kept her in one corner while Will was stuck in the other. Pantalaimon squealed softly, still trapped under the bench, too scared to turn into something smaller, like a bird or an insect, and escape to the higher parts of the roof.

Will stared at the children's faces.

"Look, we don't want to hurt you."

" _ We _ want to hurt  _ you _ ." Paola announced and attacked him with the long black stick in her hands. Will jumped back and swung his knife, cutting off a piece of wood, causing the girl to step back.

"You killed our brother." Angelica hissed through gritted teeth.

"And you stole the Knife." Paola added. "It would have protected us and our adults in the hills."

"So now…" Angelica turned to Lyra and moved closer to her, looking into her eyes with her face mere inches from hers. She tried to pull away but couldn't. "We're going to kill your friend."

The knife tip prickled her skin and Lyra flinched. The cut wasn't too deep, but a thin trickle of blood ran down her collarbone, staining her white shirt.

Will's eyes widened in fear.

"No! Don't touch her!" he shouted and rushed to her again, but he was pushed back this time as well, with such force that he staggered.

"Will!" Lyra screamed in terror, but then someone's dirty hand covered her mouth.

"Please, don't hurt her." Will repeated, a bit calmer this time. His terrified gaze jumped between her and Angelica. "We're sorry about your brother, alright? We didn't mean this to happen.  _ I _ didn't mean this to happen. Now please, just… just let her go. Do whatever you want to me-"

He broke off as their eyes met again, and if Lyra could speak now, she would be screaming at him to stop. There is no way he is sacrificing himself for her. She jerked again, but then Angelica hit her in the stomach with her elbow. The pain froze her for a moment, but then she looked at Will again and saw the fear like she had never seen in his eyes.

He was scared about her. More than he was about himself. And he was ready to put himself in their hands just to make sure she was safe.

_ Will, I'm begging you, don't do this _ , she thought as a tear ran down her cheek.

"Do whatever you want to me." he continued. "I took the Knife from Tullio, I deserve it. But let Lyra go first. She didn't do anything, she-"

A falon's cry pierced the night's silence and the silhouette of wings appeared against the background of the full moon. The grip that held Lyra in place was gone suddenly, and then a woman dressed in a long black dress with a scale collar and sleeves landed between Will and Angelica, causing the children to step back or run away.

_ Witches _ , Lyra realized.  _ Witches from my world. _

"Leave. Now." the woman ordered and it was enough for Angelica to grab her sister's hand and run away in panic.

The witch looked somewhere over Lyra's shoulder, just as Pan jumped into her arms.

"Let's get them out of here."

Another pair of hands grabbed Lyra, also strong, though softer this time, and a second later they were in the air, hovering over the city. The second witch caught Will in the same way, and now they were gliding together towards the inland forests. There was also a third witch who had been kept on the side before and was now leading them towards a clearing at the edge of the forest. The whole flight took less than five minutes, even though the distance was long.

As soon as they landed, Lyra dropped Pan on the grass and looked around for Will. He fell to the ground a bit clumsily, but was already getting off his knees and sheathing the Knife.

She started walking slowly towards him.

"Will?"

Hearing his name, his head jerked up.

"Lyra?"

Their first steps were slow, but a second later they were running to each other and threw themselves into each other's arms with all the strength they had.

"Will…" she sobbed, snuggling to his shoulder.

"Lyra…" he gasped, pulling her closer and burying his face in her hair. They stood there for a long moment, holding each other tightly, letting their emotions drop a little and their hearts slow down. Lyra closed her eyes and pressed her cheek to his chest. Hearing his heartbeat helped her calm down.

"Are you alright?" she asked softly.

"I am." He pulled away slightly and gently cupped her face in his hands, examining the cut on her neck. "And you? When I saw that knife-"

"I'm fine." she confirmed smiling slightly. "It's just a small cut, no big deal."

Will nodded and took his hands away from her face, but at the last moment she stopped him, grabbing his wrists. His fingers rested gently at the nape of her neck, right at the base of her hair.

"How's your hand?"

"Not bad." he smiled. "I'll survive. I couldn't focus on my own pain when you were in danger."

It reminded her of what he wanted to do then, and she pushed him away, taking a step back.

"You bloody idiot!" she shouted. "You wanted to sacrifice yourself for me? What were you thinking?"

"What was I supposed to do, Lyra? They had a knife to your throat!" he shouted back at her. Their raised voices echoed through the vast expanses of grass and flowers. Lyra felt tears of frustration sting her eyes.

"Do you have any idea how scared I was?!"

"And do you have any idea how scared  _ I _ was?!"

A flock of birds took flight from a nearby tree, screeching loudly. Lyra and Will glared at each other, breathing deeply. The witches watched them from a distance, but at the moment they didn't care.

As the first tear fell down her cheek, Lyra wiped it with the back of her hand angrily.

"Don't ever scare me like that again." she muttered, feeling the anger turn back to relief. "Understand?"

Will smiled slightly.

"Only if you promise me the same."

"Fine."

"Fine."

They stared at each other for a moment longer, then Lyra ran to him again and hugged him. He opened his arms for her and pulled her close, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"I'm so glad you're okay." she whispered against his chest.

"I'm glad you're okay, too."

"Now, if you're finished-" a familiar voice interrupted them and they broke away from each other, staring at the white falcon standing on the boulder near them. "Maybe you'll be kind enough to follow us. It's not safe here, out in the open."

"He's right." added the witch, coming up to them. The same one who brought Will here.

Lyra looked at her and then at her deamon. Something moved in her memory.

"Kaisa?"

The bird looked at her and flapped its wings.

"Nice to see you again, child."

She turned to the witch.

"So you must be…"

"I don't think we've had the chance to properly meet." she said and stepped closer. "My name is Serafina Pekkala."

* * *

By the time they found a suitable hiding place in the forest, the sun was already hanging over the horizon. As soon as Serafina called for a stop, Will sank heavily onto the ground, visibly exhausted. Lyra felt her insides twist again dangerously at the sight of sweat on his forehead and hair, but she refused to show fear in front of the witches.

"What happened to his hand?" Seraphina asked in a whisper, not taking her eyes off the boy.

"He lost two fingers a few days ago." Lyra explained hastily without going into detail. There was no time to tell the full story, not when his health was deteriorating minute by minute.

The witch just nodded, then walked over to Will and crouched down in front of him, her hands reaching out to him.

"Let me see the wound."

Lyra immediately moved closer, wanting to see what was happening, and sat down next to Will, holding her breath. Seeing the boy's hesitation, Serafina carefully took his hand in hers on her own and unwrapped the bandage.

The wound looked even worse in the daylight and Lyra barely resisted the urge to look away. The hiss of pain that Will gave out at the contact of the wound with the cool forest air didn't help her at all.

"Was it your knife that made that?" one of the witches standing to the side asked. He looked at them and nodded hesitantly.

"Show them, Will." Lyra whispered, trying to encourage him, but her friend was too stubborn. He looked at her, mutely communicating something along the lines of  _ no way _ , motionless as a rock. Unfortunately for him, she was stubborn too - at Jordan College she was known as the biggest stubborn in the world. So, without breaking eye contact with him, she reached into his jacket and yanked the Knife from his pocket. Will wanted to stop her, but her gaze was clear.

_ Try me. _

"If you trust me, you trust her." she said aloud.

"You never met her."

"And if you think you can keep anything from her, you can't." She handed the Knife to Serafina, who pulled it out of its sheath and began examining the unusual blade. "They're here to help us."

"You ever seen such a blade before?" she asked her sisters a question.

"No." she heard in response.

"This edge. What does this edge cut?"

"Everything."

"Nothing."

Lyra and Will spoke at the same time, then looked at each other, surprised. Serafina sheathed the Knife and handed it to Will, who tore it from her hand with a quick move. Lyra barely stopped herself from rolling her eyes. Did he really have to be so goddamn stubborn? Now when his life was at stake and any scrap of information could be of use to them?

The witch took his hand in hers again, causing Will to let out another hiss. Lyra moved even closer, watching with tension as the woman scooped up a drop of fresh blood on her finger and held it to her lips.

"Well, you're not poisoned." she declared after way too long in Lyra's opinion. "But this isn't a normal wound."

Her heart began to beat faster, fear filled her veins again. Will started getting nervous too, though he tried not to show it. What does it mean? If the wound is not normal, will they be able to heal it?

"It's going to take more than plants to heal it. It needs a spell." Serafina spoke to her sisters, then stood up. "We need to gather lichens."

Will looked at Lyra again. Now that the witches have left, his stubbornness has given way to uncertainty, which kind of made her happy in a way. She nodded to let him know there was nothing to worry about, then got up from the ground and followed Serafina.

She sat down on the boulder, watching as the woman looked closely at the plants growing along the path. When she noticed this, Lyra explained that her father had given her a picture book about witches once and she had always wanted to meet one ever since.

"I want to know everything." she announced, moving closer. "What can you do?"

"What can I do?" Serafina turned to her with an amused smirk.

"I know you can fly, obviously. And you can kill, pretty easily. And the cold doesn't affect you. And you can hear whispers on the wind."

The witch looked at her, and in her eyes Lyra saw a tinge of admiration, which flattered her. Then she found the courage to ask the question that had haunted her since their meeting.

"Are we safe?" she turned her head to look at her friend, who sat huddled in the same place she had left him, lost in his own thoughts. "Is Will safe?"

"His wound is deep-"

"But he'll get better, right?" she cut her off, speaking faster and faster, letting desperation leak through her words. "Now that we're with you, he'll be better?"

"We will do what we can here." the witch assured her. "But then we must travel to our lands."

Lyra stood up.

"Our lands?"

"The flora is more powerful in our world."

"You're taking us home?" she deduced. The prospect of returning to her world, to the snowy white north, filled her with a spark of excitement. She could see her friends again, Iorek Byrnison, Lee Scoresby (oh how she missed him!) or Ma Costa and the rest of the Gypcians. But the excitement was quickly overshadowed by fear and uncertainty, because if she goes home, what is going to happen to Will? She couldn't just leave him! Not only because she had promised to help him find his father, but also because she simply didn't want to leave him at all.

"I pledged to keep you safe, Lyra." Serafina stepped closer, giving weight to her words. "We'll do so at home. A place I know. A place I can hide you."

The idea wasn't bad, Lyra figured. But one thing she was sure of, and she had no intention of withdrawing from it at any cost, was that without Will, she wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

They moved down the canyon towards the mountains. The day grew warmer, but here, in the shade of the trees and stone walls, it was pleasantly cool, which made the journey easier. Lyra and Will were walking at the end of the group, keeping some distance from the witches so they could talk in private. Pantalaimon, still in the body of a red panda, hopped from stone to stone near them.

"Maybe they're right." Lyra said. "Maybe we should go to my world."

"Why did you leave, Lyra?"

Only now did she realize that she had never told him why she was here. She shared with him what had happened, but never revealed the reason that made her go through the tear in the sky. Better to say it now than never, she guessed.

"To investigate Dust. To try to do my best for Roger." The memory of Roger still hurt, and Lyra fell silent. Changing the subject was the best way out if she didn't want to cry now. "The thing is, these witches… they're connected to the Earth. They can find answer after answer."

"And my father?" Will stopped and turned to face her. "What does the alethiometer say to do?"

Lyra sighed. They couldn't just abandon this mission, she knew how important it was to him. As important as his health was to her. She looked down at his hand and immediately felt anger filling her. He kept it hidden under the unzipped jacket, turned in such a way that all the fresh bloodstains were invisible.

"Will, I can see the way you're hiding your hand, I know it's bleeding." she hissed through gritted teeth.

He clenched his jaw and looked down, obviously angry she had noticed.

"Only a little."

"There are more powerful plants in my world. They say that and I think that, too."

Did he really not understand that if he continues to do this, he might not live to see the end of this journey? How does he want to find his father when gangrene is slowly killing him?

"Look, I get it." he interrupted her. "You're scared 'cause you- you think I can't go on."

_ Well, at least on that we're on the same page _ , she thought.

"I can do this." he assured her. " _ We _ can do this. Ask the alethiometer where my father is, what world he's in, where we might find him."

She met his eyes for a long moment, hesitating, but finally gave in and took a few steps aside. Watching Will turn to hide the pain that was now piercing his arm, she set her backpack on one of the huge boulders on the side of the path and pulled out the alethiometer. She opened it, set the needles to the appropriate symbols, and closed her eyes, entering the right state of mind. After a while, the third needle began to move across the dial, jumping from symbol to symbol.

"He's close." she gasped, reading the answer. Will instantly appeared beside her, peering over her shoulder.

"What?"

"He's in this world."

* * *

They moved on with their walk, but it wasn't long before Lyra heard another heavy gasp behind her. All the way, Will tried to hide how tired he was getting, so she respected his decision and ignored him, though every nerve in her body shouted at her to react. But this time she couldn't take it anymore, she was sick of it.

She turned to see him leaning against the stone wall, breathing heavily.

"That's it. We're stopping." she ordered.

"No, ask the alethiometer." she heard in response. "Ask how close my father is."

Has she also been driving everyone crazy whenever she stubbornly insisted on something? Because right now she wanted to rip Will to shreds, and only his current condition was holding her back.

"There's no point in getting you to your father if when we get you there, you're half-dead."

"No, you're using me as an excuse to stop." he snapped.

His words sting like a slap in the face. She would  _ never _ have dared to do something like that.

And Will knew it. She could see it in the way his face changed the moment these words fell from his lips, how anger turned to guilt in a split second.

So she walked over to him and stared at him until he fully understood the meaning of what he just said.

"I'm sorry." he finally whispered. "I- I know you wouldn't use me as an excuse to stop."

He closed his eyes and rested his sweaty forehead against the stone. Even speaking was difficult for him now. Lyra's heart squeezed painfully.

"Apology accepted."

Will took a few wobbly steps to sit down against the ravine wall, while she turned to Serafina.

"You should rest, too."

The witch nodded, agreeing and Lyra joined Will. She looked at him for a moment longer, and when he noticed he gave her a tense, weak smile as if to tell her that everything was fine. However, it didn't work the way he wanted because a second later that smile changed into a grimace of pain.

Lyra turned her head and leaned more comfortably against the stone, trying to hide from him how much it all frightened her.

* * *

As the other two witches prepared the spell, Serafina took Lyra aside and shared her fears about the Knife and how Will had obtained it. She didn't say it outright, but her words suggested something else - the witch was afraid that Will would pose a threat to Lyra with the Knife, which she found ridiculous and literally impossible. Will was chosen by this Knife, besides he was her friend, he wouldn't hurt her - and that was exactly what she told Serafina. This must have convinced the witch, because she promised her that if they were to protect her, they would protect him as well.

But at the moment, the priority was to stop his bleeding and get rid of the infection.

When Serafina went to check if everything was ready, Lyra walked over to Will, who was standing against the canyon wall, watching everything nervously. His eyes were fixed on the burning fire, and his jaw was clenched so tightly that Lyra was afraid he would break his teeth.

"Are you sure it's safe?" he asked softly.

"Certainly safer than walking through the woods with a dirty, bloody bandage."

He rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth lifted slightly.

"I'm serious."

"Hey." she put her hand on his shoulder and forced him to look at her. The glow of the fire reflecting in his eyes made her speechless for a moment, but she quickly remembered what she had wanted to say. "It will be okay. They know what they're doing. They have hundreds of years of experience."

Will's eyes widened in astonishment.

"Really?"

"Mhm." she nodded, trying not to smile - and failing. "Don't worry. I trust them."

Will looked at the fire again. Pan was running around the witches, smelling the flowers and herbs they had collected.

"Then so do I."

Serafina stood up and turned to them.

"It's time." she said. "Will, come over here and lie down."

Lyra and Will looked at each other again. Lyra squeezed his shoulder encouragingly and nodded.

"You got this."

He took a deep breath and walked over to the fire, while she stepped back to give the witches space. Serafina placed a hand on Will's forehead and, whispering a spell, pushed him gently to the ground. When he laid down, his eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply. The injured hand rested on his stomach. Lyra took a deep breath and the witches began their chanting.

She tried to keep a brave face, but the truth was Lyra was terrified. Will felt worse day by day, and today's trek must have made it even worse. She tried to mask her fear with anger, stomped her foot and stared him down until he gave in and agreed to rest, but each of his uneven, heavy breaths, each, even the most carefully hidden groan of pain, filled her heart with ice needles. She had never been so afraid for anyone as she was now afraid for Will.

She looked at Pantalaimon, who was watching everything from the other side of the fire. In his small eyes she could read what she felt in her own chest.

They couldn't lose Will. They just couldn't. They were willing to move heaven and earth, wander through countless worlds to save him.

So she could still admire his smile.

So she could still lose herself in his dark eyes.

So she could still wake up to the sounds of cooking coming from the kitchen and the scrambled eggs waiting for her on the table.

_ Please, Will. Don't leave me. _

The entire ceremony took only a few minutes, though to Lyra it felt like an eternity. As soon as Serafina got up, she went straight to her.

"Please tell me he'll be alright." she whispered. Her voice trembled, but she no longer had the strength to hide her fear.

"We've done what we can here." the witch admitted honestly. It didn't reassure Lyra at all. They both looked at Will, still sleeping by the fire. He looked so… helpless. The term didn't suit him at all. Will is brave, always ready to fight or to help. He needed to recover. Lyra did not accept any other alternative.

Serafina asked what the alethiometer was saying about the whereabouts of his father, and Lyra, after a brief moment of staring at the golden device, had an answer for her.

"Up. Keep going up. That's what it says."

Serafina nodded.

"Stay close to him." she said after a moment. "He'll be cold tonight. We'll continue up the mountain in the morning."

Lyra nodded and headed towards the fire. She lay down on her side beside him and put her hands under her head. Pan, who had turned to a white ermine now, curled up in a ball right by Will's shoulder.

"We feel safe here…" he muttered. "Don't we?"

Lyra didn't say it out loud, but she always felt safe with Will. She couldn't explain it, but she did. She had been in danger a few times since they had met, but she hadn't felt as scared as at Bolvangar station or on the mountain top when her father tore the sky apart. Even when she stood face to face with her mother, a part of her knew that since Will was close, she shouldn't be afraid of anything.

Will is her best friend. She had always thought that title belonged to Roger. And maybe it did, once, but she felt different about Will. With Roger, she was more of a caretaker. She gave orders, chose games, commandeered the group. She was ready to rip apart anyone who looked at him funny even once.

She wanted to protect Will too, just like she wanted to protect Roger. Especially after failing to protect Roger from the worst. But Will… with Will, she was the one who was protected. She could release a sigh of relief knowing he was with her, that he wouldn't let anything happen to her. She liked it when he was close, when he grabbed her hand to drag her somewhere, when he put his hand on her shoulder, like when she was hit by a car. She liked the taste of the omelette when he made it. His broad smile always cheered her up.

And the way he hugged her after the witches took them out of the city. Nobody has ever held her that tight. Well, maybe except for Lee Scoresby, but she didn't feel like that back then. In Lee's arms, she realized that he was holding her like Lord Asriel should have always held her. Like a father should hold his child.

Besides, the person who hugged her the most in her life had always been Roger. But Roger never hugged her like Will did.

It was all very confusing and incomprehensible, but at the same time it felt… nice.

A chill wind blew across the canyon floor, and Lyra shivered. She hadn't realized how cold it had gotten. Will must have been even colder now that he was weakened by his wound and the spell.

She glanced at him. He seemed calm. His chest rose and fell rhythmically, and the color returned to his face.

She hesitated for a moment, then moved closer and rested her head on his shoulder. Suddenly she missed his closeness, the feeling of his arms around her, holding her tight. It was another feeling she had never known before.

Will stirred. He turned his head towards her and slowly opened his eyes.

"Hi." he muttered, smiling at her.

"Hi…" she smiled back. "How are you feeling?"

He took a deep breath and raised his bandaged hand, moving his fingers.

"Better." he stated. "It doesn't hurt that much anymore. But it feels like I haven't slept in weeks."

"Serafina mentioned you will feel tired." she took a chance and moved a little closer, never taking her eyes off him. "And that you'll be cold."

"Well, I am." he confirmed, then looked at her carefully. "You must be, too."

Suddenly, Lyra realized how close she was lying to him, and then her cheeks flushed red. She was sure Will had noticed it, but she nodded anyway.

He gave her that beautiful smile of his, making her heart leap in her chest, then he raised the arm she was leaning against.

"Come here."

She stared at him, confused, not quite sure what he meant, but then his arm wrapped around her and pulled her closer. Oh… He wanted her to cuddle with him so they could warm each other up.

Smiling, she scooted closer and pressed herself to his side, resting her head on his chest. Just like earlier in the clearing, his heartbeat instantly soothed her nerves. He was here with her and he felt better. Now she could finally sleep.

"Goodnight, Will." she whispered as she buried her face in his shirt. He hugged her tighter, his injured hand carefully resting on her waist.

"Goodnight, Lyra."

* * *

She woke up when the first rays of sunshine broke through the leaves of tallest trees. Will was still asleep, his arms holding her tightly against his chest. Lyra felt herself blushing again when she noticed that, but smiled and lifted her head to look at him.

He looked so peaceful. His face was relaxed, his thick black eyebrows not drawn together in an expression of pain and worry like they had been in the last few days. She hadn't noticed it before, but now, being so close, she could see that a shadow of stubble appeared under his nose. His lips, stretched in a weak smile, were slightly parted, and suddenly Lyra felt strange desire to lean in closer and press her own lips to them and…

"Good morning." Pantalaimon whispered to her as he stretched, drawing Lyra back to reality. She blinked twice and smiled at him.

"Good morning."

"So… did you sleep well?"

She rolled her eyes at his evident tease.

"What do you think?"

The truth was, despite spending the night on the cold and hard ground, she had never felt this well rested before. And she took a wild guess it had something to do with a heart now beating under her ear, and two strong arms wrapped around her waist.

Pan pretended not to see her flushed cheeks and turned to the side from which the witches' soft whispers could reach them.

"Do you think they healed him?" he asked.

Lyra looked at Will's face again.

"I hope so."

As much as she didn't want to do this, she slowly disentangled herself from Will's hold and stood up. She stretched and stepped out among the rocks onto a ledge that overlooked a vast landscape of forests, mountains and rivers.  _ We must be really high up the mountain right now _ , she thought.

She sat down, and Pan, as a red panda, joined her. They remained still for some time, staring straight ahead.

Her deamon was the first to break the silence.

"You wanted to kiss him."

"No, I didn't!"

"You were staring at his lips."

"I was checking if he's breathing."

Pantalaimon moved closer and rested his front paws on her thigh, turning his snout to the side. If he had eyebrows, he would have raised one now and gave her a challenging glance.

"You do realize it's impossible for you to lie to me, right?"

Lyra pouted her lips and was just about to answer him, but her deamon turned his head and looked back at the camp.

"He's awake."

Lyra followed his gaze. Indeed, Will was sitting against the canyon wall now, while Serafina was examining his hand. Lyra's heart skipped a beat and she swallowed the nerves. They talked softly, and though she could hear their voices, she didn't understand the words.

After a few minutes, Serafina pointed her head towards the ledge, and Will turned. Their eyes met and Lyra smiled slightly as she waved at him. Will stood up and joined her there.

"Hi."

"Hi." she replied as he sat down next to her. "So... what did she say?"

He sighed deeply and stared at the landscape.

"She says a wound caused by magic must be closed by magic. It's not perfect, but the worst is over."

She breathed out a sigh of relief. Better this answer than none.

They sat in silence for the next few minutes.

"Do you think Angelica and Paola will be alright?" Lyra asked suddenly, maybe because she wanted to fill the silence with something, or maybe because she was actually worried about these girls. She wasn't sure herself. "I don't think they were as bad as we thought. Although I was scared. I've never seen children act like that before."

"I have." Will admitted after a short pause.

He stared into space, as if he got lost in some memory. He hesitated, but finally began to speak.

"My mum… Every now and again she'd… start thinking things that weren't true. Doing stuff that didn't make sense. Like… touching the railings in the park, or… counting bricks in the wall. Stuff like that."

Lyra focused her full attention on him. She looked into his eyes, letting him know that she was listening and that he could tell her anything. He had mentioned his mother a few times before, but it was the first time he had opened up about her like this. For a second, her eyes fell on his lips again, but she pulled herself together and focused on his words.

"These boys found out." he continued, his eyes filling with pain. "They were mean. For no reason. I tried to fight them off, protect her, but… they were worse than Angelica. I ended up with a broken nose after that."

Lyra looked down at her hands. It was all so scary. She couldn't understand how anyone could treat such good people as Will and his mum this way. Because his mum was good, Lyra knew that, though she never met her. Because… a woman who raised a smart, brave and caring boy like Will could not have been a bad person… like Marisa Coulter or Lord Asriel were.

Her fingers curled into fists so hard her knuckles turned white. Two people she should love the most in the entire world, and yet she hated them with all her heart. She also hated those boys who had hurt Will and made fun of his mother.

She wanted to take his hand, try to cheer him up this way, but held back because he spoke again.

"When I was younger… I used to pretend that my dad was some place abroad… and that one day I'd go get him. He'd have the answer to everything. And I could go to school. Have friends. But the older I got- "

"The more you stopped believing that." she finished for him.

"Yeah." he nodded and looked away. "I couldn't trust anyone."

Lyra tilted her head up and looked at him, the corner of her mouth rising up in a playful smile.

"Till you met me."

Will smiled back and looked away as if to hide a blush that Lyra hadn't noticed at all (of course she did, and her heart did a flip inside her chest at that). After a while, however, he looked at her again, and there was something in his eyes that she couldn't quite read.

"Yeah."

They stared ahead again, watching as the wind rustled the treetops below. The sound brought a sense of peace and safety, making both of them relax.

Before she even knew what she was doing, Lyra rested her head on Will's shoulder.

"You have no idea how glad I am that you feel better now." she whispered.

He turned his head, brushing his cheek against her forehead, then leaned in and rested it on the top of her head.

"Don't worry, Lyra." he said and took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers tightly. Her heart nearly popped out of her chest when she felt his warm, gentle touch. "I'm not going anywhere. And certainly not without you."

**Author's Note:**

> So, how was it? Let me know, kudos and comments as always appreciated. Make sure to check out the rest of my catalog and come say hi on my Tumblr @not-sp-mundane-after-all-97 I LOVE TALKING TO PEOPLE!!!!  
> I'm not ready for episode 7... I read the books, I know what happens and I am not ready...
> 
> *chuckles* I'm in danger.


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